March 2025:

Precious silence

A conversation with Paramananda

“The silence that is in the starry sky,

The sleep that is among the lonely hills.”

- William Wordsworth, Song at the Feast of Brougham Castle

For two weeks in June, Alfoxton falls silent as Paramananda leads his Gesture of Awakening (GOA) retreat.  Or almost silent: there's still the birdsong, the wind, sung mantra's, and shamanic drumming.

Community member Mikey B discusses with Paramananda what makes this such a precious time, at the heart of Alfoxton's yearly programme. 

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Mikey B: I’ve been twice to Gesture of Awakening and it’s had a deeply positive impact on my life. For those considering doing their first silent retreat, why silence?

Paramananda: The main reason is to help people relax more deeply. We spend so much time presenting ourselves to the world, maintaining a social persona, rehearsing responses. Silence takes that pressure off. It’s not about avoiding communication but shifting how we engage. Often, people on silent retreat feel they know each other more deeply than if they’d been talking the whole time.

Mikey B: Yes, I’ve felt that. There’s still connection, but of a different kind.

Paramananda: Exactly. We tune in to others and ourselves. We become more aware of our internal voice, which is usually drowned out. And we also start noticing external sounds—wind in the trees, birdsong. I experience this especially now that I’ve lost my sight. But I think for everyone sound roots us in a place.

Mikey B: So the soundscape is an essential part of the silent retreat experience?

Paramananda: Yes, and the act of listening itself is a rich metaphor. Listening is more receptive, more intimate than seeing. Our culture has become so visually dominated—and most of what we look at are flat-screen images, often designed to get us to act or buy something. Nature, on the other hand, just is. It’s not about you. It doesn’t ask anything of you. That’s rare now.

Mikey B: Maybe that’s why being in nature takes us beyond our usual self-focus—it forces us to engage on its terms.

Paramananda: Yes. For me mindfulness isn’t just an internal state; it’s relational. We are always mindful of something—our breath, the wind, the world around us.

Mikey B: You also use drumming in your retreats - we all get comfortable lying down and you drum. How did that practice enter in?

Paramananda: The lying down aspect comes from an ancient Greek practice called incubation—cultivating openness to external energies. From a meditative perspective, the key thing is learning to relax, letting go of the small, controlling self. That’s what the drumming encourages—relaxing the grip of ego. We spend so much energy trying to manage and manipulate our lives. The drumming disrupts the rational mind, offering another route to letting go.

Mikey B: That connects with Iain McGilchrist’s idea about the brain’s hemispheres—the left side is all about control, dividing things up to get what we want, the right sees the connectedness of life.

Paramananda: Exactly. Mantra chanting works in a similar way, though it engages more alertness than drumming, somewhere between relaxed openness and meditative focus. These practices aren’t new—they exist in every culture because they work.

Mikey B: What's the importance of the group aspect of the retreat?

Paramananda: My early experience of silence came from solitary retreats. With group retreats, we aim to combine solitude’s depth with the support of community. In solitude, you don’t have to manage social dynamics—there’s no wondering what people think of you. But community practice has its own power. Practicing together creates a strong, supportive atmosphere.

Mikey B: That makes sense—even the act of supporting others through creating the retreat conditions helps the practice. It takes us beyond self-focus.

Paramananda: Yes, ultimately it’s about becoming comfortable in the world. Many of us aren’t even comfortable in our own bodies. Modern culture is deeply fractured in ways we barely recognize.

Mikey B: I’m really glad you lead these Gesture of Awakening retreats at Alfoxton. For you, what makes Alfoxton different from other places you teach?

Paramananda: At Alfoxton the land itself is special. But also, the community has a real sense of shared purpose. There’s an adventure happening here—a kind of open, dynamic energy. Other places have their own virtues, but Alfoxton has this fluid, relaxed vitality.

Mikey B: Thanks, Paramananda. I’m looking forward to your retreat in June.

Paramananda: Thank you. I appreciate that. See you then.

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